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Squirrels ...and the Church

Posted: Wed Oct 25, 2017 2:04 pm
by Gooneybird
The Presbyterian Church called a meeting to decide what to do about their squirrels.
After much prayer and consideration, :research: they concluded the squirrels were predestined to be there
and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will. :nono:

The Baptist church squirrels had taken an interest in the baptistery
The deacons met and decided :research: to put a water slide on the baptistery and let the squirrels drown themselves. :negative:
The squirrels liked :fantastic: the slide and, unfortunately, knew instinctively how to swim so twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.

The Methodist church decided that they were not in a position :nono: to harm any of God's creatures.
So, they humanely trapped their squirrels and set them free :furious: near the Baptist Church.
Two weeks later the squirrels were back when the Baptists took down the water slide. :biglaugh:

But the Catholic Church came up with a very creative :dance: strategy.
They baptized all the squirrels :cool2: and consecrated them :faceplant: as members of the church.
Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter. :fantastic:

Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue; :mad: they took the first squirrel and circumcised him. :crazy1:
They haven't seen a squirrel since.
:thumbsup1:

Re: Squirrels ...and the Church

Posted: Wed Oct 25, 2017 9:45 pm
by Bell 407
:clap: :clap: :clap:

Re: Squirrels ...and the Church

Posted: Fri Oct 27, 2017 11:44 am
by Raffles
ROFL! :biglaugh: :biglaugh: :biglaugh: