Whacked Wednesday

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Gooneybird
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Posts: 434
Joined: Tue Feb 07, 2012 12:00 am
Location: In Flight.........
South Africa

Whacked Wednesday

#1

Post by Gooneybird » Wed Mar 15, 2017 11:56 am

If Noah was a South African

In the year 2011, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in South Africa , and said, "Once again, the earth has ...become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. :cry1:

Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans." :thinking:

He gave Noah the plans, saying, "You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."

Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah sweeping in his yard - but no Ark.

"Noah!" He roared , "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark ?"

"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed. I needed a building permit. :wrench:
I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system. :reading:
My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height
limitations. We had to go to the Metro Council for a decision. :mad:

Then ESKOM demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the passage for the Ark 's move to the sea. I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it. :wallbash:

Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees because the Nature Conservation authorities say it will upset the balance of the local ecological system. :wallbash:

I tried to convince them that I needed the wood to save us all from extinction - but no go! :wallbash:

When I started gathering the animals, the SPCA prosecuted me. :stars:
They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. :stars:
They argued the accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so
many animals in a confined space. :stars:

The traffic authorities said it would take six months after completion of the ark to plan a route to the sea. :crazy1:
I told them also that the sea would be coming to my back yard. :crazy1:
They threatened to have me committed. :crazy1:

Then the Department for Environment ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until I had arranged and conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood. :reading:

I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the BEE group on how many affirmative action persons I'm supposed to hire for my building crew. :mail:

The Department of The Interior has insisted that I provide them with a list of the people who want to work so that they can check that they are not from the non-designated group. :rules:
COSATU say I can't use my sons. :carton:
They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience. :rules:

To make matters worse, SARS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species. :nono:

So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark. " :wallbash:

Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky.

Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to destroy the world?"

"No," said the Lord. :negative:

“The South African Government has beaten me to it!”
:outtahere:



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Bell 407
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Posts: 5593
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2012 10:35 am
Location: Johannesburg
South Africa

Re: Whacked Wednesday

#2

Post by Bell 407 » Wed Mar 15, 2017 12:13 pm

True that :haha:



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